The son of a boy I went to high school with died very tragically this week. My heart breaks for his family and friends. By all accounts this young man was much loved but had lost his way in life. At 20 he had a lapse in judgment and he paid the ultimate price. I saw little snippets of the accident on Facebook posts, and was curious about the accident. I don't remember how it is I managed to figure out where he died, but once I figured that out I was able to pull up news reports. I now wish I hadn't.
After each online report I found a reader comments section. I was appalled by the callous remarks left by fellow human beings. The venom spewed forth by cowards hiding behind the safety of anonymity left me speechless and angry. I don't know what has happened to our society. It scares me. In the wake of the horrible reports of kids killing themselves due to bullying, you would think people would choose their words more carefully. What is it that makes these people feel they need to comment on a tragedy with such disdain for life? This young man was someones child, grandchild, brother, cousin, friend, boyfriend. So you don't agree with the choices he made, and maybe you think he got what he deserved, keep it to yourself. I have to remember the great advice my mother gave us often as children "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I try to live by that rule and I repeat it to my children frequently.
I didn't know this young man. I can't even say I knew his father. Sure we spent six years together in school. If you mentioned his name to me I could conjure up the image of a boy with sandy blond hair, a wide smile, a collar turned up. I don't remember having classes with him, though I'm sure we must have. We didn't run in the same circles and I can't recall a single conversation we've ever had. But my heart breaks for him nonetheless. Not because we were great friends, we weren't, not because we are from the same small town in Oklahoma, not because we graduated together, simply because he is a father who has lost a child. It's called empathy.
I don't know how to fix these broken, hateful people. I refuse to respond to their comments because that only gives them the fuel to turn it up a notch. We can turn this around. It will take effort on our part, but we must teach our children to be respectful. We must make sure they see that their words and actions can cause pain. The adage "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me" is a lie. Broken bones heal, broken spirits may not. When we hear someone around us being rude to another human being, we must step up and tell them to stop. If we model good behavior to our children, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, perhaps we can change this world in our lifetime.
