Happy Birthday Reid

Ten years ago tonight I became a mother for the second time. Reid Glenn Anderson came into this world at 10:37 pm weighing a whopping 8 lbs 8-1/2 oz and, get this... 23-1/4 inches long. Is it any wonder I was incredibly uncomfortable at the end of my pregnancy? He was almost half my height!

Reid was another dream baby. Well, sort of. As long as he was being held he was a happy as can be. He hated being put down and he absolutely hated riding in the car. As a result, I became adept at doing my daily activities with a baby strapped to my body. Though, unfortunately, I had to put him in his carseat while we were in the car. Our car rides were a bit of a nightmare for about the first 9 months of Reid's life. I was so used to his screaming while I drove around that it unnerved me if he suddenly stopped. When Reid was five weeks old he was diagnosed with RSV and his pediatrician ordered me to take him directly to the hospital. Already upset about having to put my baby in the hospital, I was a bit of a nervous wreck as we drove the 3 miles or so to Frederick Memorial. As per usual, Reid started the drive screaming as soon as I strapped him into his seat. I'm zipping down the highway when he suddenly stopped crying. I whipped that car onto the shoulder, jumped out of my seat, flung his car door open and screamed his name. His eyes flew open and he was so startled he screamed louder than he ever had before. The poor thing was so tired from being sick he has fallen asleep. I was both relieved and remorseful. I showered him with kisses and apologies and we got back on the road.

Reid has always had a zest for life. He loves to laugh and learn new things. I call him my "stop and smell the roses" child because he doesn't do anything fast. He loves to take his time and soak everything in. This can be very endearing. He notices the world around him and as a result he has made me slow down to see what he is looking at. In many ways, this is maddening. Occasionally you have to get moving. We don't always have the luxury of watching where the squirrel is going.

Reid loves to be the center of attention, in a good way. He likes to do presentations in school. He was recently in the school play and tomorrow he will be performing a magic act at the school talent show. He's a natural and is very confident in his abilities. The unfortunate partner to creativity seems to be sensitivity. Reid is incredibly sensitive and gets his feeling hurt easily. Glenn and I noticed that when Reid was a toddler he could take a spectacular tumble, jump up, brush himself off and keep on going, but if you raised your voice to him he completely fell apart. Tears would actually shoot out of his eyes. Still to this day he can brush off physical pain, but emotional pain turns him into a sobbing mess.

It is this sensitivity that worries me most as his mother. How do you teach a child to harden his heart? I want him to be sensitive. His sensitivity makes him a more caring and tender individual. He always roots for the underdog and he has such a big heart that he hurts when those around him hurt. That's a good thing, right? Not always. He wears his heart on his sleeve and it makes people around him uncomfortable. We live in a society that doe not encourage tenderness. Our society says that boys need to be tough. Reid is not tough and he knows it. He knows that he is different and it bothers him. All I can do, as his mother, is encourage him to be true to himself, but at the same time, choose his battles wisely. I am helpless. I can't hang out in the fourth grade and run interference. He is going to have to figure some things out on his own. That kills me. I yearn for the days when all I had to do to pick him up, hold him close and all would be right in his world.

We are ten years into this adventure with Reid. I can't wait to see what the next ten years bring.