Playgroup

Robert will be 13 years old tomorrow. I can’t believe that tiny little bundle of joy I brought home from the hospital is going to be a teenager. As we hit this milestone I fondly remember those days, so long ago when I hovered over his bassinet and watched him breathe .I loved being a stay at home mom. I reveled in my new role as a mommy, but I never imagined how isolating it would be. I had a wonderful mother-in-law who would come over at the drop of a hat, and my mom came out to visit for a few days after Robert was born. Glenn took a couple weeks off of work and that was fantastic, but then everyone got back to their lives and I was left alone for long periods of time with a newborn. Let’s face it; newborns can be a little boring. They sleep a lot and they aren’t very interactive. It didn’t take long for me to start to go a little stir crazy.

By chance, I saw a flyer for the MOMS Club. I wasted no time calling the number and within a day or two the application showed up in my mailbox. I filled out the application, sent it back and waited. I was a little nervous while I waited to hear about my “playgroup placement”. Then it happened, I got the call. I was placed in a playgroup. The only thing I knew about this group was that the women all lived within my geographic area. That’s it. No other information.

As luck would have it, the group was meeting in a house in my neighborhood that week. I put my little man in a cute outfit, strapped him into a stroller and walked around the corner to Teresa’s house. I was the first one there and introduced myself to Teresa and met her little girl Sarah. Soon we were joined by Elizabeth and her daughter Micaela, Karen and her daughter Leah, Lori and her twins Spencer and McKayla, and Paulette and her son Connor. I was the newbie to the group that had already been meeting for a couple months. It could have been awkward and I could have been made to feel like an interloper, but instead the ladies were warm and welcoming. I felt like a full-fledged member in a very short period of time.

A few weeks after I joined we got a new newbie, Jolene and her daughter Rachel. She made our group complete. We put in word with the MOMS Club that we were a closed playgroup and would not be accepting new members. I cannot believe for one second that we were put together as a group simply because of when we joined the MOMS Club. I have to believe God had a hand in our meeting. To this day I thank God for those ladies.

We’ve had a few changes, but never any real issues. Paulette left the group after about a year because she lived too far away and it was hard for her to come to us, and frankly, none of us wanted to drive to West Virginia to meet at her house. No hard feelings. We all really liked Paulette and Connor, but we had babies, and babies don’t necessarily love long car rides to remote areas of West Virginia.

It didn’t take long to test our bonds. In that first year one of my friends lost a baby late in her pregnancy. We rallied around her and tried to love her through it. My mother-in-law died and my girls were there for me to watch Robert and to cook a meal or two. We also had many blessings. Elizabeth and her husband Michael welcome a new baby, Cosette, and a few months after that Karen and her husband Scott welcomed their new baby, Emma. Glenn and I welcomed Reid and then finally Teresa and her husband Steve welcomed their new baby, Connor. The meals were flying, babysitting commenced. We were a well oiled support group.

Things settled down for a few years and our playgroup was the highlight of my week. The kids became more self-sufficient and our weekly meetings became much less about them and more about us moms. We loved our weekly chat fests eating quick breads and drinking copious amounts of coffee. When the first generation of kids headed off to preschool we changed our meeting day from Thursday to Wednesday. The next year we changed it back to reflect their 4 year old preschool schedules. We were dreading kindergarten. How were we going to manage to meet with the kids on different kindergarten schedules? I wish I could tell you what we did, but I don’t remember. I know we still got together, whenever we could. By that time the second generation was getting bigger and enjoyed spending time together.

We lost a group member around that time. Lori and her family moved to Connecticut. It was sad to say good-bye to Lori, McKayla, Spencer and Lori’s husband Patrick. Robert was especially saddened because Spencer was the only boy in the first generation group. The kids were all in school full time by then and we were meeting more and more sporadically. It seemed as though our little group had served its purpose and we were all heading in different directions. They all made a point to come see me and entertain me while I was on bed rest over the summer of2004, but we didn’t have any concrete plans to continue meeting as a playgroup. I was afraid our group would fracture and was very saddened by the thought.

Then the unthinkable happened. Teresa’s husband, Steve was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of Leukemia. To make matters worse, they had just moved into a new home in Northern Virginia, a little bit of a drive from our homes in Maryland. But the miles didn’t matter. Teresa and the kids needed us, and we were going to do everything we could for the family. Elizabeth was able to find a house for them to stay in while Steve was receiving treatment. Their home in Northern Virginia was too far from Johns Hopkins Hospital and they were panicked about where they were going to stay. Elizabeth’s in-laws spend their winters in Florida, so their home was sitting empty. The best part was that it was only a couple miles from all of us. We were able to provide meals and babysitting whenever it was needed. By late spring, Steve’s treatments were over and he seemed to be getting better. The family moved out of their temporary housing back to Northern Virginia and we all breathed a collective sigh of relief. To honor Steve and Teresa and all they had been through, our playgroup formed a team for the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. Steve was able to walk the survivor lap. It was a shining moment for Steve, Teresa and all those who loved them. Unfortunately, our joy was short lived. In a matter of weeks Steve’s disease returned and we said our final good-byes to him in July 2005. We rallied around Teresa during the bleak weeks ahead. She didn’t have to give childcare a second thought because our doors were open wide for her children. She didn’t have to wonder who to turn to when she needed to cry, she had five shoulders at the ready. We helped her with a yard sale; we helped her move, then move again. Whatever she needed, we tried to be there for her.

Many playgroups formed and crashed in flames during our active years with the MOMS Club. Occasionally we would meet someone who would ask us to let them in to our group. I suppose we could have, but I think we knew instinctively that adding new members would change the very essence of what made us work. Flash forward six years and our group is still intact, sort of. We don’t see each other as often as we’d like, and though not officially, we have let a few others into our circle. Just like any long-term relationship, we’ve had our ups and downs, misunderstanding and frustrations, but in the end, we have an unspoken bond to one another.

So as I reflect on my 13 years of motherhood, I have to reflect on the 13 years in the playgroup and all that it has meant to me. I don’t know what I would have done without this wonderful group of ladies in my life. Because of them I had somewhere to go when I felt the walls closing in on me, because of them I am a scrapbooker, because of them I am a better mother, wife, friend. Thank you my friends for 13 unforgettable years. Can’t wait to see what the future holds.