Regrets... I've had a few

Twenty years ago I came to the realization that I deserved to be happy. This was a turning point for me, because I was used to being miserable. Armed with my epiphany I packed up my things and walked out on a six year marriage. For those of you doing the math, that means I got married at 18. We were doomed from the start, completely unable to escape the statistics.

I have been asked many times in the last twenty years if I regret getting married so young. That's a tough question to answer. In the early years after the divorce I was so filled with anger and disappointment that I always answered quickly and forcibly, yes! Now, looking back on the person I have become, and the experiences I have had, I have to say, I'm not sure.

Life is all about the choices we make. Good and bad, right and wrong. Every choice has a consequence and every experience you have after that choice is meshed with that choice. There is no way to separate the two. I don't know where I would be today if I had called off the wedding, or chose to stay married. I know that those decisions have sparked countless other decisions so that I am a totally different person with a totally different life than I would be if I could go back and "undo" some of my mistakes.

I didn't enjoy my first marriage, and the break-up was painful and messy and filled with angry exchanges that can't be taken back. I didn't handle it well, but I was 24 and I was fed up. If I could do anything differently I think I would try to be nicer. Don't get me wrong, leaving was the right thing to do, but I did it the wrong way. That is the only regret I have. I don't know what has happened to Mr. Wrong. I have had no contact with him since the divorce papers were signed. I hope he is doing well, I hope he finally figured out what he wanted to do with his life. I hope he can look back on our six year mistake and realize ending it when we did was the right thing to do.

So I can't say I regret the choices I've made, I only regret how I have handled the consequences. Marrying at 18 was a mistake. However, were it not for that mistake I wouldn't be the person I am today. So finally, 26 years after the wedding and 20 years after the divorce I can embrace both of those decisions. No regrets.